Spanish is the loving tongue

I have just recently discovered the work of Spanish poet Federico Garcia Lorca. Wonderful stuff:
http://www.poemhunter.com/federico-garc-a-lorca/poems/

Geese

Oh! Honka - she's a he.
And he's tried it on Honka.

spiders

We get lots of white tailed spiders in our house. I freak out when I see the things and they're so hard to kill - they just attack when they see you coming for them. I got one the other night tucked up in the towels hanging in the bathroom. And one crawling across the baby's blanket. One night I even had one on my pillow. I have gone around stalking them - flicked the lights on in a dark room and sprung then halfway down the wall - then smashed their guts all over the wall like a permanent reminder to deter their pals from staking out my house. Now every time someone has a mystery itchy spot - I think it's one of them. Yeww! I hate them.

The Geese

My gander Honka has a new mate. I use that term in the most gender neutral way possible because they haven't really shown any signs of love yet. I'm not sure if he is a she or she is a he.

I had a try once at vent-sexing geese and turned Honka upside down to examine his cloaca then compared it to one of the young geese. What I thought was goosey male-bits were in fact female-bits. Uncle Frank was somewhat disappointed when the gander I gave him started laying eggs.

Poor Honka! He was born with this oar-wing condition so that his wing pokes out sideways and now he has woody tongue so his tongue is completely paralysed and flops down in his soft palate. He's a freak, poor love.

He had a long term lover, Tallulah, who I think was accidentally eaten during a short holiday at Uncle Frank's. Tallulah II went missing.

So we're hopeful - that some time soon we will hear the pitter patter of goslings climbing into the car to listen to the radio with Honka.

Grate

I was making a zucchini slice today, which involves grating zucchini and cheese and, once again, I grated a large piece of finger into the mix. Unable to find the finger, I focussed on preventing blood from entering the food and put a bandaid on the wound. I wonder how many lost pieces of human flesh have gone into our food? Are we cannibals after all? Maybe that Dahmer guy in America had a mother who was very clumsy with the cheese grater and he developed a taste for it? I wonder after my two little vegetarians......

This photo is just crazy

Hi...if you are on here reading this and you know me then I have to apologise for the ridiculously huge photo. I created this by accident as I said and it was one of the few on my work computer. The 'create your own blog' people made it this big and I can't reduce it. I know it looks like I'm glamourising myself and it just looks soooo conceited. Yuck! I'll fix it one day at home and put something more modest on here. Until then, please excuse the size of my semi-shadowed face.

Zulu kingdom lotteries

What do I do? I got an email saying that I've won $1.5 million from Zulu kingdom lotteries...!? They tell me I have to reply and claim it within 2 weeks and give 10% to the children in Africa...very legitimate huh? How can I pass up $1.5 million? I'd have to be completely stupid right? right? Any advice? If I reply what will happen to me? Will I be forever cursed and limp around with an endlessly filthy house and my eye smote out? Is there anyone out there who has ever gotten their $1.5 million dollars?